Babies, Christmas, and more

So we finally paid for Jackson's 3 month pictures and they should be mailed out tomorrow. YAH! I can't wait to get them, they turned out really well. Though I didn't really have the money for them, they were a good investment. He will only be my little baby once.
Ah, Christmas is almost here and I am thrilled. I love Christmas, we already have our tree up. Jon and I put a $50 limit on each other and $20 for the family. My family gifts are already done or at least thought of but I don't know what to get for Jon. Any ideas? I know I am going to get him a scarf, he wants one to go with his nice new coat.

So I am not sure if I quite know what I am doing on here yet. I know how to write and post a blog, I know how to search one via google but I don't really get how people can find each other's blogs. If I am blogging along and no one is following me then am I really blogging? :-) Okay but really how do I do that. Anyone?

Blog Give Aways

I am uber into checking out blogs with giveaways these days. I am not sure if they will work but I am persistant if anything. Being a frugal momma I am into anything that can save me money and still provide awesome stuff for my family.

I like to go to bloggiveaways.blogspot.com and http://www.alexandersplayroom.com/all-baby-diaper-cakes.html

The above one lists lots of give aways and the 2nd one is for a Winnie the Pooh diaper cake. I LOVE this diaper cake it is so cute. I never knew what they were until Jackson was being hatched and boy are they cute.

My open letter to Cuisinart, Boppy, Medela, Craftsman, and Pyrex

Dear Cuisinart, Boppy, Medela, Craftsman, and Pyrex,

Thank you for being awesome! It is a wonder where I was without you previously in my life.

Cuisinart~ I LOVE my little food processor. If only I had got one sooner than this year. You are the perfect little addition to my kitchen and hopefully I will have a immersion blender to go along with you. Though I wish you were the bigger model to accomadate more food I still love you. (though I do need to learn how to "slice" things ... so far I see the ability to on the directions but I haven't been able to do anything but grate and chop)


Boppy~ Oh what a wonderful mother's little helper you are. I remember the old days of trying to feed my nieces and nephews and cousins without you and it was no fun. You are a breast feeding mom's best friend.


Medela~ Is there anything you don't make that is related to babies? Your Pump in Style Advanced breast pump is awesome (though I need to have it looked at because it is making a swoosh sound-how do I do that? Anyone know?). You even made the billirubin bed that my son stayed in for a while. Your products are all so handy and have really made breastfeeding easier.


Craftsman~ I just bought my first official power tool of my own this past Black Friday! I waited in line at Sears to buy your random orbital sander. What a great deal and a wonderful tool. I can't wait for spring so I can start some of my furniture resurfacing projects.

Pyrex~ Oh Pyrex for so long you were out of my reach...you see I have champagne taste on a beer budget! So extra things like Pyrex were out of the question. However, to my suprise there was an AMAZING deal on Black Friday this year at Walmart. Yep I braved the craziness of Walmart and waited for 45 minutes in line to check out so I could buy your cookware and I couldn't be happier with it. No smelly foods smell after use, it cleans easy, it is the perfect size for my husband and I... Oh how I love you.

My little peanut

So I believe the last time I blogged I was newly preggo. Well time has flown and my Jackson will be 4 months on Monday. Can you believe it? He is already 4 months old. He is truly amazing. We just recently had his 3 month pictures done and they turned out so amazing. I really have to stop procrastinating and order my cd from them. I highly recommend them if you live in MN. Check their website out at www.heritagephotographyinc.com

So mommyhood has been interesting. I absolutely love it!!! But it has been an uphill battle on somethings. For one the hospital was not very good about helping me learn how to breastfeed. Yes I said learn...because silly naive me thought it would be uber easy, I mean it is the reason we have boobs right? WRONG. It was really tough to learn and because of Jackson's time in his light box the first few days (because of his jaundice) and my lack of knowing what to do I never established a good supply and we have been struggling through. I thank goodness for finally checking in with a lactation consultant who has really really really helped. It now is no longer a scary and frustrating thing for Jackson and I. I just wish I would have done it sooner. I felt ashamed of not knowing what to do so I didn't seek help sooner but I was so wrong. It was nothing I did and there was NO shame in getting help, those ladies were my angels.

Trying to balance our budget has been another struggle. I went without pay for 4 weeks after my vacation and sick time dried up. I have only had 2 paychecks since and they have poofed away faster than you can say "poof". Now my husband who was really pushing for two kids close in age (like 16-24 months) now is saying "no way no how not in this house". We get by in the house but it was at the top of our budget, however, at that time the other houses in our budget were no where near as nice and though we could have saved 10-40 thousand BUT those houses would have easily needed tons of work (like new roofs, windows, furnaces, ac, water heaters and so on because they were all 50+years old and most had the older stuff to go with it). The house we bought two years ago this month had a new water heater, new furnace, new ac, all new electrical outlets, new can lights in all the main rooms, and new egress windows in the completely finished basement. How could we turn that down for what would only have been a difference of $240 a month. Sure that is $240 but how much would that new furnace have cost? Get my drift?

So anyway Jon is now against having any more babies which makes me sad. I know money is tight now but there will never be enough and I guess deep down I know that I hardly see my little guy on the days I work anyway. Really I am just hoping I find a new and better paying job in the next year or so. However, with how tough the job market is I am scared. I have been applying for jobs and have had no luck. Which is so disappointing being I have a Bachelor's degree, several years of experience in Security/Law Enforcement and office work. Ugh, I don't want to just apply anywhere because I want it to be somewhere that I like and can stay at for a long time.

Until then I am always looking for ways to save money without sacrificing family time. Like getting a 2nd job isn't an option, as it is I only see Jon and Jackson for 3 hours on the days I work. :-( We really don't have much to cut out, we only have our cars and mortgage and necessary utilities like electric, gas, water, garbage, and food...oh wait we do pay $17 a month for netflicks but we do need some fun right? Luckily my jeep is just about paid of so that will be awesome, then I can put that money towards paying the remaining bit of medical bills from when Jackson was born.

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am so excited. I am making Butternut Squash Lasagna!! We are going over to my aunt's house to have a nice lunch with my family. It should be fun because lots of my family have not seen Jackson yet or at least not in a while. (sad I know especially being he is 4 months!)

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving. Despite all the ups and downs of this year I am still so thankful for my life.

Amazing

It's weird sometimes how you can look down at your own hands and they almost don't even seem like your own. Like they are someone elses hands, different in a way that you weren't expecting.
I guess it is the same about anything. Frequently I look at my life and I am in awe of where I am. It is not that I am unhappy about everything it just wasn't what I had hoped and thought it would be. Though I believe in things happening for reason and I guess if other things wouldn't have happened I wouldn't be in my house, with my husband, or with our little one on the way.
It is just not what you imagine sometimes and I wonder if I could change things. In the end though I am happy with Jon and the baby, we have a great little house with plenty of projects to keep us busy, and two of the greatest dogs ever. Mostly it is just me and my job that make me sad. I wonder if I could be a better person and how. I wonder if I am a good person.
Mostly this comes from frustration with my job. I wanted so much for myself and yet nothing seems to have come through. I know it was mostly from my DWI and my own fear but then my heart gets the best of me and I just doubt myself all around.
With the little one on the way I just wish I was more and I had more to offer. The economy is such junk I am scared to apply anywhere. Though I did apply at Jon's work but we will see what happens. It would be fantastic but I am not getting my hopes up. I guess we will just have to see.

Cold as ice

Bananas it is super cold out tonight. Ugh so I have been super tired lately however, with how cold it is outside I am not really feeling like I missed anything. It is probably also good being we are trying to pay off our new laptop. Once we found out about the pregnancy Jon and I sat down and made a list of things that we wanted to buy before we no longer had money for anything. Jon wanted a new laptop (he is a techno snob so it had to be this bells and whistles type), we both wanted a new camera and small little flat panel tv for our bedroom, and I wanted living room furniture that matches. So far we got our new tv and laptop and have paid off the tv with the sale of our old two computers! Now we are just selling off some other stuff to put money towards the laptop.
The new laptop is nice, Jon gets way more use out of all the features than I do but whatever makes him happy. I am just happy that now we have a faster computer to get my Zune working and better music on my shuffle.

The New Year is HERE!

I don't have much to say right now but I am really feeling this new year. With the new puppy and baby on the way all I really have right now is thanks for the gifts in my life.

Ugh I missed this... I totally want to go next year!

Weihnachtsfest - Biwabik's Winter Lighting Festival - held the first Saturday in December, has been part of the town's holiday tradition for the past 18 years. Activities commence at 11 a.m. with a children's musical presented by area youth. You can stroll down Main Street checking out craft tables at the local church, Senior Center and the Bavarian-themed City Hall Complex.Near the town's Carl Schuster Memorial Park, step up to the Weihnachtsfest Candy Haus, where boxes of homemade sweets are for sale. You can also purchase tickets here for horse-drawn trolley rides through town. Lunch at the Park Pavilion features the region's ethnic specialties: sarmas (meat and rice rolled in cabbage leaves), pasties (similar to a hot meat pie) and Italian beef sandwiches - all accompanied by music, perhaps a local polka band or the high school jazz ensemble. Later, browse the bake-sale tables for homemade cookies, cardamom bread and Slavik potica (a walnut-filled sweet bread). At 6 p.m. everyone gathers by the park gazebo to sing carols and watch as the switch is flipped and the entire park is instantly set aglow with sparkling white lights. Afterward, fireworks illuminate the dark winter sky.

I want to learn to knit

Okay so I have been saying this forever and I have absolutely no time on my hands BUT now that I have confirmed that I am pregnant...yep it's true we confirmed it last week. (HOWEVER WE HAVE NOT SHARED THIS INFO WITH ANYONE SO SHHHHH)
I have a feeling I will need to learn how to do something to keep me busy until the day comes that doesn't require me to sand down old furniture and so on. That and I love to sew but it requires me to have a lot to carry around which knitting would not require as much.
Any pointers let me know.

Babies

I wish I could say this outloud however everyone seems to have a big mouth. Jon and I have talked about children many times over the years. There is always someone who wants them and someone who doesn't. We have never been on the same page at the same time with kids. Recently we have decided that we have gotten too old to keep waiting, but I am still scared.
If I start to apply at cop jobs now it could take a year or so, then a year of probation, then a year or whatever off (you don't want to get preggers right off probation). So realistically if I want a career first I would have to wait until I was nearly thirty. Jon just turned thirty and we both feel we are not getting younger. We have been together for over seven years so what's the wait?
I guess I am affraid of becoming a frumpy soccer mom who let's herself go and whines about everything. I know that sounds horrible but most of the women in my family have gone from being moderately sized to huge and I don't want that. I know it sounds pretty vain but it took me years to get my body and my health under control and it is scary to think I could lose that. Again I know it sounds totally vain and selfish.
I would love to have children tomorrow. Mostly I am just scared because it is such a permanent thing...you can buy or sell a house, get married or divorced, but a once you are a parent you are always a parent. I think about kids lots, what their names would be, who they would look like, and I can't help but stop and look at baby clothes.
It's just all so scary